It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
