i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
