That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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