i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
