new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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