you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
