I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
How naked do you want me to be?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
