before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
