so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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