Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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