tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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