I hate your face
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
