I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
