nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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