How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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