I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
