i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
