how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
