MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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