You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
