so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
