shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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