oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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