They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
