Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
