how can u be prego again
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
