did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
