it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
