is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
