how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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