if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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