if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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