I think scott just propositioned me for sex
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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