you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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