I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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