After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
