? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
