his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
