Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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