Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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