woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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