My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I forgot wine drunk hurts
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
