She said her name was "party"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
