Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
