I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
There's even glitter on my cock...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
