he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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