I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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