i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Randomize
