I just pynch a tree in the face
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
