he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
you had me at cake vodka
Every concussion has its silver lining
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
