Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
This toilet bowl is my home.
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